


turn my sorrows into treasured gold

by akelios



Category: Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Dresden Files Kink Meme, M/M, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-03
Updated: 2011-05-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 00:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akelios/pseuds/akelios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey Toot?”</p>
<p>“My Lord?”</p>
<p>“You're a really good little guy, you know that?” My chest was starting to feel heavy, tight. Stupid fucking demons. Stupid me. I should have seen that parting blow coming.</p>
<p>“Yes...” Toot's voice sounded smaller than usual. I wanted to say something else. Make a joke, but even the pain wasn't holding off the blackness any longer. I thought, as I was pulled under, that I heard Toot say something else. But I didn't catch it and then it didn't matter anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	turn my sorrows into treasured gold

“My Lord!” Toot buzzed around my head, the annoyance making me focus on him. Keeping me from looking down and seeing the really big fucking hole in my stomach. Probably a good thing. I'd gotten a little cold, a little tired. Growling at Toot and swatting at him when he buzzed too close was the only thing keeping me awake.

“'ammit, Toot! Lemme 'lone.”

“No.” He flew close, close enough that I had to look at him cross-eyed to see him hovering at the end of my nose. I didn't bother swatting him this time. My arms were too heavy. He landed on my chest, as close to the wound as he dared and looked at it. His face was small and kind of blurry, but he didn't look happy at all. “Harry, my Lord, you need to stay awake. I sent Jixi and Raisie for help. They'll be here soon. So you have to not fall asleep. Mortals who fall asleep like this don't wake up, Harry.”

“'M tired, Toot. Cold.” His wings buzzed. Toot lit up, burning bright and vanished. I let my breath ease out of me and my head fall back against the wall. Blood coated my hands where I pressed them to the wound. I couldn't feel anything but the barest sense of pressure, but I must have been doing some good because I hadn't bled out yet.

Toot came back at some point. I think I must have faded out because I didn't remember it. One second I was lying there, the roof spinning lazily far above my head and the next Toot was there, sliding something made of cloth under my hands, against the wound. He pressed down, putting his entire body weight into it and began to radiate heat in slow, gentle pulses. It wasn't a lot, but I could feel it. It drove away some of the numbness, brought back the edge of pain. I gritted my teeth, bit my own cheek and grasped the pain, drove it into myself. It was the only thing that might keep me awake.

“Hey Toot?”

“My Lord?”

“You're a really good little guy, you know that?” My chest was starting to feel heavy, tight. Stupid fucking demons. Stupid me. I should have seen that parting blow coming.

“Yes...” Toot's voice sounded smaller than usual. I wanted to say something else. Make a joke, but even the pain wasn't holding off the blackness any longer. I thought, as I was pulled under, that I heard Toot say something else. But I didn't catch it and then it didn't matter anymore.

~

I didn't get any warning before Lea popped into my apartment, straight past all my wards. One second I was lying back on my couch reading, Mister curled around the top of my head and Mouse spread out on the floor in front of the fire. The next I was jumping up, my freshly healed side pulling, bending me over a little. My godmother stood in front of my bedroom door, tall and beautiful as always. Her golden eyes glowed in the firelight, her teeth bright and sharp as she smiled. Lea held her hands cradled together, near her stomach. I could see that there was something in them, something small and unmoving but I couldn't get a good look at it.

"Hello godson."

"Godmother. To what do I owe this visit?" And how the hell'd you get through my wards? But I've learned. Hard to believe, but true. I didn't just blurt that last bit out.

"I have my ways, dear boy." That made me flinch. It's never good when someone starts answering the questions you haven't asked out loud. Something must have shown in my face because she threw her head back and laughed, bells ringing. "Your irritation and question is written on your face, my dear. No magic necessary to divine what occupies your mind foremost. As for your question, I am obeying my Queen."

Lea stepped forward and knelt, placing her small burden on my coffee table. I stared down at it for a second until my brain caught up with what my eyes were seeing.

"Toot!" I dropped to my knees beside him, the pain in my side a sharp stab that settled into a low throb. Toot was curled up into a little ball, knees up to his chest, arms locked tight around himself. He was shivering, shaking so hard it was like a convulsion wracking his body. I couldn't see any blood but his wings...his brilliant dragonfly wings lay in tatters behind him, shredded and blackening at the edges of the wounds. I went to touch him, to pick him up, but a particularly violent convulsion took him and I stopped, holding my breath. I didn't want to hurt him any more than he was but I had to do something. I looked up at my godmother.

"What- what happened? What do I do?"

"I do not know what occurred. My Queen called me to her and bade me to deliver your man to you post haste." She stared down at Toot with unreadable eyes, then met mine. "Keep him warm. Feed him if he wakes. He will survive, if his will is strong enough, or not. There is nothing else you may do for him." Her hand rested on the top of my head for a brief second and then she was gone, as quickly and impossibly as she had appeared in the first place. She left me staring down at my injured friend, unsure of what the hell I needed to do. Keep him warm. Hah. Even with the fire, my place was always chilly. But it gave me a place to start.

I lurched to my knees and stumbled into my bedroom, coming back with all the sheets and blankets I owned. The nest I made in front of my fireplace was huge and it reminded me of the bower that Toot had set up in his pizza box command tent. A half smile forced it's way onto my face. The day I'd spent tiny, hanging out with the Guard, had been one of the most restful I'd had in years. And that was even with my near devouring. I picked Toot up as carefully as I could, but from the way he stiffened and relaxed, jerking unendingly in my hands I didn't think it mattered. He was beyond feeling anything I did to him.

Once I had him secure in the center of the nest, the blankets piled around him, holding him in one spot, though not still, I stoked the fire until it was nearly uncomfortable to stand beside. Sweat beaded on my face, broke out on my chest. I tucked a sheet over Toot, one last layer to help try and warm him up and headed down into the lab.

Bob didn't wake up until I was already half way back out the trap door and into the apartment itself.

"Harry? What're you doing? Did you kill someone again? Do we have to move? Because if so, I demand we take my books with us. I've spent years building that collection and I don't-"

"We're not moving. It's Toot. He's hurt and I need you to take a look at him. Tell me what's wrong and how to fix it." I knelt again. Toot was still now, pale. Bob hmm'd and stared at the little fae as I set him down on the blankets. I held my own breath, waiting until I could see Toot's tiny chest slowly rise and then fall, again and again. He was still breathing. But was it too slow? I couldn't remember how fast Toot breathed at rest. I had never paid any attention to it before, and I cursed myself for it now.

"Well?" My voice was loud in the silent room. My bedroom door creaked open and Mouse poked his head out. He whined when he saw Toot, worry in his posture. I put my hand on his back, petting him roughly, my fingers tangling in his fur. Mouse leaned against my side and I welcomed the contact, the support.

"I can't tell you."

"Can't? You can't tell me what's wrong? Bob, this is a hell of a time to decide to keep your mouth shut!"

"I literally can't, Boss. It's not like I don't want to. But it's not something that gets talked about. We're not allowed."

"Someone ordered you not to tell? I can just change the order then. Bob, I ord-"

"NO! It's deeper than that. It's...from before I came to the real world. When I lived in the Nevernever. Before Mab wanted to kill my ass dead. You can't undo this one, Boss."

"Bob, he's dying. I need you to help me. Please."

"I can't tell you what's wrong, but I can tell you what to do for him." Bob turned, tilted his skull back to look up at me. "There's not a lot, Harry. But we'll do what we can."

Bob was right. Or maybe I should say that he was true to his word. There wasn't a whole lot that he could tell me to do. A lot of it was a variation on my godmother's instructions. Keep Toot warm. Feed him when he had moments of semi-lucidity. The tiny faerie ran a fever for a day and a half, but when it broke he started waking up every couple of hours.

He didn't speak, couldn't tell me what had happened, who had done this to him. But he seemed to recognize me and he would eat some soup when I gave it to him in a tiny spoon. He couldn't hold it, his arms shook when he tried, so I fed it to him, slowly and carefully. It was a sign of how bad he was that when I tried to tempt him to eat a little more by offering him some pizza he just gave me a thin, pale smile and passed back out.

The biggest thing, Bob said, was to stay with Toot. I did my best not to leave his side for more than a few minutes at a time. Mouse pretty much walked himself and he got the mail too. I left a message with my answering service that I'd had a family emergency and the agency was closed for a while. Michael brought me groceries when I called, and said a prayer for Toot. I appreciated the sentiment, even if I wasn't sure his god was looking out for little fae or angry wizards. The remains of Toot's wings blackened and fell off on the second day. I picked up the pieces and they turned to ash in my hands. His wings. Even if he survived, he would never fly again. The spots where they had joined his back turned into red, raw scars immediately, and the black rot that had eaten away at the delicate beauty of his wings didn't appear on his body. A small thing to be thankful for.

It was sunset on the third day when things changed. I'd fallen asleep on the floor beside Toot, curled on top of the nest of blankets, surrounding his form with mine. It had become a habit, falling asleep beside him. Or maybe I should admit that it was more like passing out. I stayed awake as long as I could, every day, just in case. But eventually I had to sleep.

The soft touch of a hand on my cheek made it's way through the exhaustion that fogged my sleeping brain. I startled, throwing my hands out, my spell knocking whoever it was across the room. My first thought, after the initial 'oh shit' was for Toot. I looked down at his little hollow. Toot was gone. My attention turned to the intruder.

He was just picking himself up off of the floor, all pale, lean limbs that glowed in the firelight. What sort of moron breaks into someones house naked? I didn't have my staff, but I had enough control after years of using the same spells to direct another wave of force at the man, slamming him back into the wall and pinning him there. Mouse jumped up off the couch and ran over to me, sniffing at the place where Toot had been and then whining, looking between me and the naked man. No, the naked sidhe, I realized, that I had trapped.

"Who the fuck are you and what did you do to Toot?" Could this guy be the one who had attacked Toot in the first place? His hair was white and shaggy, long enough that it fell into his eyes and obscured his face. The light was bad, as always, but I thought his eyes were blue, the face vaguely familiar. Was he someone I'd pissed off? Did my mouth get Toot hurt, maybe killed? Damn. I felt the air around my hand start to heat up and took a deep breath. I did not want to fry this guy. Not yet. Not until I found out what he'd done with Toot.

"M-" he coughed, cleared his throat. "Harry? You look...different. At this size." I blinked. Blinked again. The voice was...no. Not the voice. That I didn't recognize. But there was something. The rhythm of his voice, the way he tilted his head to one side with a faint, smirking smile at the corners of his mouth. Arrogant and playful. I took two quick strides forward, Mouse following me, coming close enough to the sidhe that he could sniff at his legs. I took a fistful of the white hair and pulled it out of his eyes.

"Toot?" He broke into a full fledged, joyful grin.

"Yes, my Lord!"

~

Toot ate me out of house and home. Once I let him go and got a pair of my pants on him, the cuffs rolled up to pool around his ankles, his stomach started to growl loud enough to give Mister some competition. I still had a ton of soup, and he started with that but wanted something more substantial after his first can. He ran through the three frozen pizzas I had in the ice box - okay, I did help a little with the pizzas. But only a little. I was half afraid I'd lose a few fingers if I reached for the wrong slice at the wrong second.

I watched Toot while he worked on filling his hollow legs. It was definitely Toot, I just didn't understand _how_ it could be Toot. His hair, now that I had some more candles lit, wasn't pure white. It had a faint violet tint to it, darker at the roots, but still pale enough that I could see it only when the light hit his hair just right. The scars that I could see were familiar. I'd either seen them before, when I was small, or he'd shown me the wounds when they were fresh on his body. Toot was a warrior now, whatever he'd started out as and he was proud of his wounds, proud of the battles that they represented. Even if the battles were only against stray cats – something that seemed almost silly to anyone of average size – they were important to him and to the other members of the Guard. Life and death, strange as that might seem.

“Toot, can you tell me what happened to you? Who did this to you?” He looked up from where he'd been scraping the last of the cheese and sauce off of the bottom of the pizza box. Toot's eyes were a bright, laughing blue and they gleamed with amusement. Though whether it was at me, or at Mister who was perched on top of his favorite bookcase, rumbling a steady growl at Toot I wasn't sure. Mister seemed to be offended that his tiny, habitual prey was now too big to hunt. I was surprised he'd even noticed. Mister had never seemed to care that Mouse had grown to ten times his size. “Lea said she got you from Mab and you were already hurt, sick. Did Mab do something to you?”

He opened his mouth and tried to speak. Nothing came out but a strangled squeak of sound. Toot frowned and tried again. Nothing. Then he shook his head and laughed.

“I- it's not a punishment, Harry. It's a gift.” He rose from the chair and came to sit on the couch beside me. Too close. We were going to have to have a long talk about the human concept of personal space. Really fast. Personal space and pants. Two vital lessons.

“A gift? Toot, I think you've got the wrong idea about gifts. You almost died.” I pointed to the mound of blankets that was still lying on the floor in front of the fire. “That's not a gift, Toot.”

“It is for the sidhe. Nothing is free, Harry. There always has to be balance. A cost. I paid my cost, and now I have my gift!” Then he leaned over and tried to kiss me. I felt the soft brush of his lips, the ghost of a sensation, really, and then my brain kicked in and I jerked back, away.

“Whoa! Whoa, wait, wait a second there Toot!” I was forced to keep moving back as Toot followed me, until we were in the really awkward position of me lying on my back on the couch, my head awkward on the armrest, Toot stretched out on top of me. Pants were not enough clothing. Toot grinned down at me and went for another kiss. I got a hold of his hair and held him off.

“Harry!” He whined, pouting. I fought not to laugh, to be serious. It was cute, but this was not the time or the place.

“Toot, you don't just go around kissing people! It's not right.” He huffed and sat up, which put him sitting in my lap. Not much of an improvement.

“This is ridiculous. I've seen humans sporting and they start with kissing, Harry!”

“Sport-” I spluttered and shoved at him. “Okay, Toot, hop off. We need to have a talk.” He shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he moved until he was sitting at the other end of the couch.

“You've seen humans sporting, but you guys don't pay attention to what comes before the sporting. There's a whole...thing that has to happen before humans are ready to sport. A couple will eat meals together, talk, get to know one another. They give each other gifts, that sort of thing. Eventually, if they want to, then they sport.” He chewed on this lower lip, thinking. Toot had never been dumb. Something of an air head, flighty, but not dumb.

“Okay. I get it, Harry. I got it. Courtship. Humans want courting first.” He turned back to the pizza and pulled one of the remaining slices from the box. “Here, Harry. This one's yours.” I watched him for a second, then took the slice. I couldn't escape the feeling that I was missing something here. Again. I hated that feeling.

~

“State your business!” I yanked my t-shirt over my head and rushed out into the living room. Toot had my sword cane out, the tip of it aimed at Murphy's throat. Murphy had her gun out and was aiming it at Toot's chest. I took a brief second to wonder who I'd pissed off in my last life and then stepped over to them.

“Toot, it's okay. This is Murphy. You remember her, right?”

“Toot? As in, your little faerie friend?”

“Hmph. Not so little anymore.” Toot gave Murphy an imperious look. Since he was maybe an inch or so short of my own height right now, it was really effective. Sadly for him, Murphy'd had a lot of practice at being looked down on and it didn't phase her in the least. They both lowered their weapons, though.

“Wow. I just came to check on you, Harry. You haven't been answering your phone. I called Michael and he said you were nursing a sick friend.”

“I was. He got better.” I nodded at Toot.

“I'll say.” She tilted her head back to get a good look at him. Murphy smiled, but Toot didn't return the grin. 

“Hey, you want a drink or something, Murph?”

“Sure. I've got to get going, but I've got a few minutes.”

“ _I'll_ get them!” Toot turned and brushed passed me into the tiny kitchen where I could hear him rummaging in the cupboards, then the ice box. He came back into the living room a few minutes later with three Cokes. He handed one to Murphy, where she'd taken a seat in a recliner, and then plopped down next to me. Inside the personal space bubble I thought we'd established. I took the Coke he held out to me and gave him a significant look. Which he blithely ignored. 

I spent the entire, thankfully brief, conversation trying to ignore the press of Toot against my side, the warmth of him. It was difficult and I didn't miss the looks that Murphy was giving me. I just didn't know what to do about either problem. I needed to get Toot back to normal, as soon as possible.

~

A month later, nothing had changed.

Or, well, that wasn't quite true. I'd gotten used to having Toot next to me, human sized and terrifying random strangers when he thought they got too close. Or when he thought they were a threat because they'd looked at me funny. Toot, even big, was taking his position as head of the Za Lord's Guard seriously. The fae of the Guard, those who were still pocket sized, didn't seem to have any problem with their leaders new perspective on life. Truthfully, no one seemed to have a problem with it but me and Mister. 

I'd tried to summon Lea but she hadn't answered. Instead Mab had appeared in her place again. She'd been cryptic and unhelpful, which wasn't anything new. I'd been left with absolutely no answers, and a hyperactive sidhe on my hands. 

We'd settled the bed issue, eventually. I didn't wake up to find Toot wedged between me and the wall anymore. I still wasn't sure how he managed to get in there without waking me up. Personal space was still problematic. He either just didn't get it or he was ignoring it. Toot touched me. A lot. Not in any way that could be called bad, or invasive. Just, a lot. When it wasn't strictly necessary. Fingers lingering a second too long when he passed me a drink or handed me something while helping out in the apartment. A hand on my back while we were walking. Leaning in too close to tell me something so that his hair brushed against my cheek and the scent of him filled the air around me.

It was getting awkward but after that first attempt at kissing, Toot hadn't made any moves as far as 'sporting' with me. He'd clearly gotten the whole sex thing under control and didn't want to have it with me. The fae were far more touchy feely than humans, and I told myself that he was sending mixed signals without knowing it. Talking to him about it just got me a lot of really confused looks before Toot would shrug and go back to doing whatever it was I'd interrupted. So I just ignored it. But. But. Well, hell. 

I don't get touched a lot in ways that aren't meant to be someone either kicking my ass, killing me, or trying to do things to me that I didn't want them to do. It sounds so pathetic, when I spell it out, even to myself, but it's my life and it's not pathetic or sad. It's just that there're a lot of assholes in the world and I seem to run into most of them at one point or another. Better me than someone who can't defend themselves, right? Right. The end result is still that I just don't get a lot of friendly touching. And with Toot doing it all the time...I was having non-friend appropriate thoughts. About Toot.

It would shock plenty of people who know me, but I sat down and thought about it. About my sudden feelings for Toot. My attraction. Could I trace where they'd started? Were they part of the spell? Yes. And no. Or if they were part of the spell that had changed Toot, it had been laid on me long before someone messed with Toot. I'd started feeling...something for Toot after that incident with the shrinking potion. Something about being his size, seeing him as a person and not just this little cute friend of mine made things different, even once I'd gone back to my normal size. It hadn't gone anywhere, because how do you think about having sex with someone who is nine inches tall? You don't. But now that Toot was big? It was back, full force. 

So I did what any sane, red-blooded wizard would do. I ran away. 

I spent as much time as I could in the office or out on cases, leaving Toot back at the apartment or at Thomas' salon sometimes. In my spare time I tried to research turning Toot back to his natural size.

Which was what led me to the small clearing that housed the Za Guard's troops. I hadn't had much more luck getting information out of the tiny fae than I had out of their larger sidhe cousins, but I was willing to keep trying with them. The little fae were a lot less likely to get annoyed and rip my arms off.

“Guys? Hey, Jixi? Peter?” Yes, there was a tiny fae who called himself Peter. Don't ask me. I have no idea how they decided what to call themselves. I leaned down to look into a few of the houses built into knots in the trees. Nothing. Down on my hands and knees to look into the hidden tents. I avoided Toot's old place. The towels were closed and I knew Toot sure as hell wasn't in there. Nobody. Where in the hell had they all gotten to?

“Harry, what're you doing?” I jumped a foot in the air, which is hard to do from all fours. Toot had slipped into the clearing silently and he now stood blocking the exit, his wispy hair sticking up at all angles, his perpetual grin firmly in place.

“Nothing.” I stood, brushing off the dirt from my pants. “I just wanted to talk to the guys, is all. Do you know where they are?”

“Yes.”

“Great. So where'd-” And then I had a double armful of hyperactive sidhe. Toot had crossed the clearing between one breath and the next, his hands landing on my shoulders as he leaned in and kissed me. Again. This time, I didn't jerk away. Maybe he'd worn me down, or maybe I was just too surprised to react but I let him kiss me. It was like being kissed by spring sunlight. Warm, happy feelings poured out of Toot, into me. Sunlight tastes like cherries, by the way. Nuclear cherries, but still. I opened my mouth and breathed it in, let it fill me. I wanted to laugh, the ticklish feeling of happiness swirled around inside of me and I pulled Toot closer, pressed against him. He was hard, through the soft sweats he had on, and I wasn't far behind him there.

We wound up on the ground, somehow. Leaves and dirt beneath me, Toot above. With a little distance between us, skin no longer touching, I could take a full breath. Start to think again. 

“Toot, wait. I don't think-”

“Harry.” Toot leaned down, not quite touching me again. “I listened. I did the human courting. I want to sport with you, Harry. I think you want to sport with me, too.” He rolled his hips and I met the movement without thought. Oh. Well, okay then. As long as we were all on the same page.

I leaned up and met his mouth, closing that tiny bit of space between us. Toot laughed, and then we were kissing. My friend was a more aggressive kisser than I'd have thought, pressing me back down into the grass, using his advantage to take control of our movements. It was good. Melt you spine, your skin's on fire but it feels awesome kind of good. I sucked his tongue deeper into my mouth, rolled my own around it, teasing the slick flesh. Toot growled and his fingers found my fly, ripped it open and reached in, pulling me out. 

The teeth of my zipper scraped lightly against me and I hissed at the feeling. It wasn't painful, but it was just sharp enough to cause a frisson of instinctive fear to run up my spine. It felt kind of good, and I went with it, letting my body do what it wanted. What it wanted, apparently, was to wrap my legs around Toot's hips and thrust against him like a teenager. 

Things get tangled and messy during sex, and giving a play by play becomes impossible at some point. I know Toot squirmed out from between my legs, yanking my jeans down over my hips as he went. There was the touch of skin against skin as I touched him, traced the muscles and scars that covered his body. Toot's voice whispering in a tongue I didn't know, rolling and beautiful, like his Name, and then he was kneeling over me again and I was half-sunk into his body before I could say anything at all.

“Toot, wait! You'll hurt yourself!” I grabbed his hips, held him still. It was a fight. I wasn't at a good angle and it was hard to concentrate on anything except for the sensation of tight, delicious heat around my dick, the half that wasn't buried in him demanding to be let in on the fun.

“Not a human, Harry. It's _fine_.” He was wet inside. I had enough brain cells left to realize that, and then he just overpowered me, slid gently but firmly the rest of the way down, until we were completely joined. He rose, then fell, again and again, his voice no longer whispering as he chanted. I could feel the magic building up around us. I stretched out my senses enough to test it. It wasn't black, wasn't malignant, but it was faerie magic. Sidhe. There was still enough time to, god help me, stop it. Stop the sex. Stop everything. But it was Toot. Toot wouldn't hurt me. And I didn'tt want to stop. The magic tasted like Toot's kiss, bright and warm and safe. Mine.

I let it all go on, the magic pressing up against us, sliding inside of us. Not an invasion, but a filtering. Coming home. Easy as breathing, and just as necessary. I let Toot set the pace, but I started moving with him, thrusting into the heat of him, the spiraling warmth and need making us move faster and faster until it was all I could think about, all I could feel. 

The chant began to crest, to build to it's finale, and I knew I would follow it, go with it. Toot broke off for a second and met my eyes, held them.

“Say my Name, Harry.”

I did, at the same time he said mine. It rolled out of my mouth like it was coming from my soul, like it was something deeper than my magic, my heart being pulled out of me. I felt it flowing to Toot and when it hit him it mingled with his essence, with something that was flowing out of him. The magic exploded, sunlight and fire wrapping into one another. I came, but it was like an afterthought to the soul deep happiness and pleasure that engulfed me.

The first thing I heard, when sensation and noise returned, was a high pitched cheering. Heat flushed my cheeks, ran up my neck, and I fumbled for my pants, yanking them up awkwardly as I opened my eyes and sat up. The entire Za Lord's Guard surrounded me, glittering and glowing, glee rolling off of them. One section seemed to be doing the wave, for fuck's sake. It took a second for me to realize that Toot was gone. The sweats he'd been wearing were on the ground next to me, but Toot himself was missing.

“Toot? Shit.” I struggled up. “Guys, where'd Toot get to?”

“I'm here, My Lord.” Toot's familiar, high piping voice. I looked up to see Toot flying down from the top of the canopy. He was back to being maybe nine inches tall. His wings- his wings were back. They weren't clear longer clear, but stained glass. Reds and golds. Fire contained. He landed on a branch that was at head height for me and stood there in tiny, naked glory. I flushed deeper. Fuck. This was not- this wasn't normal. _Now_ he went back to Toot size?

“Okay. Okay. I'm going to need some sort of fucking explanation here, Toot. What the fuck just happened? Why're you small again?”

“I'm the Za Knight now, Harry. My gift was just for that. For a little while. Now that I'm attached to you, Mab's power left me.”

“You're the _what_?!”

“Za. Knight. Like the Winter Knight?” He sighed and dropped to sit on his branch. “I'm growing, Harry. But it's slow. I can't grow fast enough on my own to protect you. Like the demon. If I'd been big, I could have helped you.”

“You did help, Toot. You kept me alive.”

“But I almost didn't. You're my Lord, Harry. You're my friend. You've made me more than just a dewdrop fairy. I didn't always understand that, but I do now. I needed to grow up faster. For you.”

“So you made a deal with Mab.” It wasn't a question. It was the only thing that made sense.

“Queen Mab wants you alive and strong too, Harry. For her own reasons, but yes. It suited her desires for you to get stronger, so she helped a little.”

“But you're back to being small now.”

“For right now. But when you need me, I'll be able to get big again. It takes a lot of magic, so I can't do it all the time. Not yet. And I'll keep growing, Harry. In five years, I'll be big all the time.”

Five years. Five years of Toot being around, but tiny.

“I'm not- I don't-” His wings buzzed and he landed on my shoulder, a heavier weight than he should have been. I was absolutely aware of him, of his naked body resting on my bare shoulder. And it wasn't an uncomfortable knowledge. Which made me uncomfortable. Nine inches tall, Harry. Nine inches. My brain was going to implode from all the dissonance involved here.

“I know.” His small hand patted my cheek as he leaned in to kiss the corner of my mouth. “I'll help you figure it out. I don't want to wait for five years, either.”


End file.
